Love over the Miles

I've been asked how to make long distanced relationships work. My standard answer is, nothing. Personally I tried it and it didn't work so I'll admit I'm jaded.

My little journey into a long distance relationship was doomed. We had known each but not very well. BING, red flag number one. She was fresh out of a relationship that didn't work out. BING, red flag number two. I'm pretty sure her last few relationships had issues with fidelity. BING, red flag number three. Finally we had only "dated" for barely two weeks.

What was I thinking? I wasn't in a good place at all. I was in the middle of grad school. She was in no place to move financially. We told ourselves she would move out in a year. I forget what was at the end of a year. But yeah, this one was doomed so take everything I say with a grain of salt.

I think fidelity even being women and not men is a hard thing to ask for if you're going to be apart for... more than a month. You have to decided for yourself the length of time. Sooo, let's say anything more than 2 or 3x as often as you have sex. If you are having sex less than once every two months, might want to wake up. You're roommates.

Unless you live in a remote area like Vermont, there are lots of chances to hang out with totally available women. Best friends, ex-lovers, women who like to comfort you but have a bit of a boundary issue are all potentials for a snap. It's too easy to have a fight and get even.

Those are my main issues, just two. Lack of intimacy and lack of companionship. Skype, text all you want nothing replaces the warm body lying next to you.

Here is an article that offers another view point. I'd love to hear your opinions or experiences with long distance relationships. Has anyone survived one and for how long? I know many people meet online living in different towns.

Me and my girl lived a train and a bus ride away, but Manhattan to Brooklyn isn't a long distance. The Q to the M14 bus was about 40minutes, but you couldn't get too many places in under 40minutes.

Long Distance Lesbian
Tips for Lesbian Long Distance Relationships
By Kathy Belge, About.com Guide

It's astonishing what some women will put up with just to have a warm body. Some of the brightest women I know are just obsessed with that search. It's very sad.
~ Judith Rossner